Long overdue, Cheryl and I finally sit down and rip apart Pretty Woman. Right before we recorded I sped read the original script and have to tell you… wow. What a different movie it would have been.
It’s so crazy that I have to repost it. So download the script here: $3,000 and then fire up the show and watch Pretty Woman while we yack in your ears. It’ll plenty of fun good times.
Alright… here we go… everything Pretty Woman!
Breakin' In! 
“I GOTTA GO CUT ONE OFF”
LMFAO! I hate to admit it but I think, even though I was laughing all the time at your comments, that was the one that made me laugh the most!
Though perhaps the comment isn’t as juvenile as it first seems… after all the movie had by this point already gone to great lengths to show how unsophisticated Vivian was (including, as you mentioned, not realizing there was a mall just down the street that she could have gotten some nice clothes at!). And then later on she does say — at the Opera no less! — that she almost peed in her pants.
So one really can almost imagine the director having her say (in the expensive restaurant) “I gotta go cut one off”! I guess that’s what makes it so funny… it’s only SLIGHTLY beyond the pale. (I therefore officially and proudly take back my former embarrassment and fully embrace and support the comment!)
In any case, I loved the commentary. Not only the tear-down of the movie itself, but also the illustrations of how it differed from the “$3000” screenplay (and where it didn’t), as welll as your comments on how the Hollywood area has changed between 1990 and now (and how the movie gets wrong basic street direction realities!).
And man it was a good thing the commentary was so good, because the actual movie was not as entertaining (even superficially) as I remembered. When I saw it in 1990 I thought it was a stupid (completely implausible but not admitting it) movie with a horrible message for young women (the best way to find the man of your dreams [who, by the way, must be rich and powerful] is to become a prostitute)… but I had to admit it had a lot of entertaining scenes.
Looking at it now it’s mostly just boring and depressing, except for my still-favorite scenes with the Hotel Manager (Hector Elizondo) and the store manager (Larry Miller). (“Excuse me sir, but exactly how obscene an amount of money are we talking about… merely profane or really offensive?”)
By the way, I had no intrinsic technical troubles at all… I turned the sound down completely on my end and started the video at the end of your (second) countdown, and I could hear the audio on your end, and your comments, fine! (Even when the camera was close on people talking the lip synch was close enough that the slight difference didn’t bother me.)
I did have one recurring problem that was really confusing me until I finally figured it out, but it was totally my fault: On occasion the picture and sound would be completely different, and I’d have to figure out which was was ahead and pause it to the other one caught up.
The biggest example was at the end of Edward’s “day off”: after the brief shot of them having burgers (in a joint they are far too dressed up for), in the next scene in the version I was watching Vivian (in the limo) asks if they can stop by the Blue Banana club so she can say hi to her roomate. Edward agrees, and as Vivian goes into the bar (and Kit is nowhere around according to “pops”) some toughs start to threaten Edward. When Vivian returns Edward out-toughs the toughs by having his driver Daryl show he is packing a gun. Then the movie continues on as in your version with the sleep/kiss/sex scene.
It’s been so long since I’ve seen the movie (decades) I didn’t remember if this club since was in the original theatrical version or not. So I checked IMDB and discovered that (who knew?) the version I borrowed (yes, I’ve already gotten rid of it!) was a director’s cut released years later that has some extra scenes (including the aforementioned).
Glory be.
(Speaking of Glory, am I the only one who laughs at the line in Fletch when he says to the beautiful woman “I know you don’t know me from a hole in the wall, but…”?!)